So I’m pretty gosh-darn glad the American League Championship Series is on Fox…something I thought I’d never say. After all, listening to Joe Buck and Tim McCarver mispronounce half of the Sox’ roster, continually belittle them, and in general talk completely out of their buttocks about baseball, I generally want to attach a rusty spike to the end of a piece of plywood and repeatedly slam it into my crotch.
But at least the Red Sox games are no longer on TBS, and therefore I’m no longer subjected to the horror that was the continual airing of those ridiculous Dane Cook ads for Major League Baseball.
Good Gravy, but that man’s annoying. Possibly the most annoying commercial not involving some creepy kid’s obsession with his Verizon Fios tech.
Bill Simmons had a pretty funny idea in his podcast this week with Saturday Night Live’s Seth Meyers: he pitched a sketch in which we’d see a behind-the-scenes view of Cook filming that commercial, only he always got the names wrong thanks to the fact that he’s more than likely not even a real baseball fan. (“Mariano Riviera! Jonathan Paperbon!”) But I think an even better idea would be for Dane Cook to do similar ads for other TBS shows.
“You remember Bradshaw. You know about Jones. You can feel Charlotte’s husband’s nudity before he even walks in the room. You’ve memorized the dialogue. You’ve HOSTED cosmo parties. And you love the underdogs, like Aiden. And all those random sexual partners they nabbed over the years…where do these guys COME from? You love anyone who can put a scare into ridiculously rich Russian artists. It’s go Mr. Big or go Mr. Home, people! There’s only one sex. There’s only one city. You’re a chick: watch like one!”
I mean, that’s the least he should be forced do to after allowing “Employee of the Month” to be unleashed upon an unsuspecting public, don’t you agree?
(Some of you may be curious and wondering if you didn’t already read something like this earlier in the week. Well, you did, but the YouTube clip went and ate my website’s code. It was all “H is for HTML, it’s good enough for me!” Luckily, my web mistress solved the problem for me and showed me how to let YouTube and WordPress. You can see her savvy work below.)